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So I met Seth when I was 17 and he was 16. He went to a different school, but swam for my high school. I was a manager for the men’s swim team, and we started dating right after the season ended. We dated all the way through college. He dropped out of college for me and moved to Michigan to become a tow truck driver. We broke up in early 2015.
Things were great when we were together in Denver. We spent nearly all our time together and didn’t have any major issues. However, I did see one or two times of extreme anger/overreaction – which should’ve been a warning sign to me but I was young.
While in college, we texted and emailed and talked on the phone frequently, skyping too. It became much harder on us because we were apart. For me, transitioning to college was difficult, and was exacerbated by me being away from him.
We saw each other maybe once or twice a year for a week or so at a time. At first it wasn’t too bad because he lived in Denver, so I’d see him for most holidays. But when he moved to Michigan it got worse. It was harder to see him and he sort of had his own life issues that effected our relationship.
He began to party and smoke weed more often and would lie about it, which caused grief and trust issues. I would give him so many opportunities to just be open and honest with me so we could have open communication and trust, but he’d lie. He started drinking way too much and that made me uncomfortable. We ended up not talking as much as we had been.
We had a lot of communication and expectation issues over time. The tipping point for me was when he disappeared for about 24 hours. He just stopped answering me and his mom texted me frantically saying something like “you need to tell him to get in touch with me. Contact is important at this point.” I didn’t know what that meant and I called and texted him all day, worried something had happened to him. When he finally called me, he told me that he had gotten into an argument with one of his younger brothers over something trivial and that they got into a fight and his brother called the police on him and he ran.
I was upset about the way he handled the situation from start to finish, and I was hurt that he never responded to me. Here I was thinking he was hurt or missing or something and he was really just hiding. I broke up with him over the phone that day.
Eventually he was arrested for the assault but his brother was forced to drop the charges by his parents. I never understood why they picked on Isaac for everything and babied Seth.
We talked off and on for awhile. I tried to be friends because I still loved him and didn’t want to lose him. But, it got worse when I found out he was dating someone else. I had expected him and encouraged him to date, but that he was in a relationship so quickly didn’t make sense to me. I found out he had cheated on me and had already been seeing her before we broke up anyways. Even after I knew, he still tried to tell me he loved me and she didn’t mean anything and that they weren’t together. But I saw the FB photos and social media.
He eventually blocked me on FB and I tried to move on. We would talk occasionally for like maybe a week every few months (texting maybe a phone call). I think it was because we were both so used to having the other one in our lives. I would always come to my senses and cut things off. He would get the picture and eventually send a long text apologizing for how he had acted etc etc etc. I stopped acknowledging his texts and he sent me an email apologizing again (this off and on contact has spanned the past two years, but I’ve completely stopped responding).
I never thought I would be able to say I’m completely over him and I thought I would always love him (at least part of me would) but I can confidently say that isn’t true. He was a huge part of me growing into adulthood and I don’t regret the experiences, but he was bad for me and I’m lucky our relationship ended.
Now I’m in a great relationship in a great city on a cool path, and I’m excited. I could never really be myself or reach my full potential with him. I don’t have any anger towards seth anymore, but i am still effected by him. It is very hard for me to trust people. We spent about 5 years together from teens through college graduation. I learned a lot about myself and relationships by being with Seth.
-Kara, 24

The author TheNxtChapter

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